The memories from a breakup are still painfully vivid in your mind. The heartbreak. The sadness. (Yeah, I know. Lovely topic.)
But looking back, rejection is the best thing to ever happen to you in your personal life and your business. Every closed door, every tear shed has prepared you for today.
A Perfect Life Means No Lessons Learned
Sometimes I feel sorry for people who have never been rejected romantically in their life. They don’t understand that heartaches are vital to maturity.
I know it sucks to think about it. I’m actually grimacing while typing this. But it’s true.
1) Bad Memories = Experience
So I’m writing a book about my exes. Nope, I won’t simply be griping about how they hurt me or the jerks they were to me.
I’m talking about all of the cool things that happened – the hobbies I picked up, the knowledge they shared. I’m hoping others can pull positive memories from their experiences as well.
But let’s get real. Let’s talk about the raw stuff. The crummy stuff. It’s what seeps up before any warm-fuzzies do. Maybe he or she broke up with you via e-mail or was a dirty cheat.
How in the world can this be positive?
Well, you’re thinking about it right now. Are you just as tearful as the day it happened? (Unless it happened last week. If so, by all means, it’s okay to be really, really upset. And I’m sorry. You deserve better.)
How about this: were you able to take what happened and not make the same mistake in your next relationship?
That strength, that resolve. It’s within you now as you’re developing your business.
Someone saying “no” to you, your product or service still hurts, sure. But it’s a hurt you’ve prepared for, a hurt you’ve felt before.
You’ve got this.
The Only List You Need
This may be just a girl thing, but when I was dating, even before I officially had my First Date (I was a late bloomer, aged 21), I had “The List.”
I even created a blog post around it – all of the essential characteristics of the perfect man for me.
2) Getting what you don’t want helps you know exactly what you do want. Do you have a list? Do you have an idea of the perfect client?
Think about it. If you’ve never experienced the pain of a crappy relationship, you probably have a harder time knowing what you hate or don’t want.
Much like in romantic relationships, during my initial client consultations I conduct an informal “Coffee Talk Test” – you know, kind of like a first date.
Even if we don’t agree on anything else, could this potential client and I share a cup of coffee (or dinner, since I don’t drink coffee much) and enjoy ourselves? This is really the baseline for deciding whether or not to work with a client.
I’ve written about how relationships can be a good thing for business.
What lessons have you learned about relationships that have helped you in your business? Talk to me in the comments.
If you’re really pleased with what you’ve read and would like something this snazzily written for you, contact me.
- Marriage as a Business Proposal – Psychology Today
- Lessons My Loser Lovers Taught Me About Freelance Writing – Be a Freelance Blogger
- A Valentine’s Day Breakup Letter to a Cheap Client – Be a Freelance Blogger
Photo: Some rights reserved by deeplifequotes
All good points. Every time something didn’t work out, romantically and professionally, I learned something.
Mostly, I learned in each one that it’s just as important to listen as it is to talk. Sometimes more so. Communication skills apply across the board, and what you learn in one relationship can help sharpen your communication skills in another.
That is really important, Ducky. Communication is everything!
Good stuff. I once heard it said that communication to a relationship is as blood is to life. That’s one area where I think writers have an advantage. What about you?
You are absolutely correct. Strangely enough written communication works fantastically for me, but I have a lot to learn about verbal communication.